The Blessings of an Adopted Child...
By Ray Mack Thompson
If not as children, at least as adults, adopted children learn that our births may have been a time of great stress in the lives of our birthparents. The first blessing of an adopted child is that adoption often shields us from this pain and anguish. This blessing turns out to be a very important one for me...
Deciding to search...
As an adopted child, I’ve always been very thankful for my adoptive parents, Neil and Zorene Thompson, but of course there has always been some wondering about my birthmother. I have her name—Ida E. Montgomery—and age at my birth (31 years) from my birth certificate. The name she gave me—Durwood Montgomery—is also on my birth certificate. However, I didn’t seriously search for her until I was in my 70’s, when I began to search on the Internet. I soon discovered that there are literally thousands of “Montgomery’s” and hundreds of “Ida’s” listed! My first break through was in finding an “Ida” who was a close match to my Ida’s name and age. With this match came a list of parents and siblings of a family whose life was centered in Mills County, Texas. However, the Internet also revealed that Ida and her siblings were probably deceased; Ida died in 1985 at age 87. I continued my search, trying to make contact with a living descendant of this family—someone who might know of my birth...
Help in searching...
A second blessing is having someone to help you search, and to share your doubts, frustrations, discouragements—and successes. This blessing came to me from many sources...
First, there is a group of adopted children (and birthmothers) on the Internet that I helped to organize—I have come to love them as part of my family. Our special bond is that we were all adopted from the West Texas Children’s Aide Society in Abilene, Texas (WTCAS). [The full story of this group is too long to tell here, but you can look us up on the Internet: http://www.angelfire.com/tx5/adoptee/
One of my WTCAS family, Jo Hagins, is an expert in knowing how to use the internet to search for family histories. Jo first guided me to find Ida’s family, and then to the records of the Mills County Historical Society in Goldthwaite, Texas, also posted on the internet: http://www.geocities.com/ivyplace/mchc.html
The dedicated members of the Mills County Historical Society provided my second break through. Communicating with me by e-mail, they searched their records for the Montgomery family that I thought might be my birth family. What they found was a listing of Ida’s family identical to the one I had found on the internet—including a group picture from a family reunion! Even more important, the listing included the name of the person who had submitted it to the society, one Ruby Johnson. Perhaps Ruby would be my link to a living descendant of the Montgomery family! I wrote to Ruby, but my hopes were dashed when my letter was returned; I also tried to reach her by phone. I feared she to was deceased. (But she wasn’t!)
A longtime personal friend provided the next break through, by forging the final link to a living descendant of Ida’s family; his name is Foye Davis. Foye and I met while serving in the United States Air Force Security Service in the early 50’s http://www.usafss6910th.org/ We came home from the military and attended engineering school together at Texas Tech in Lubbock, Texas. We’ve kept in touch down through the years, now corresponding regularly by e-mail. Several months ago I told Foye of the search for my Montgomery family. Foye grew up and now lives near Burnet, Texas, not far from Mills County. A.W. and Ester Warden are well known in Burnet; they know everybody and everything that goes on! One day, in an almost unbelievable serendipity, Foye casually asked them, “Do you know any Montgomery’s from Mills County?” They did...! It was A.W. that came up with a name…
My search is finally rewarded...
Only a week ago, with A.W.’s lead, I finally found the only living sibling of my birthmother. Her name is Ora Belle [Montgomery] Jones, and she lives in a nursing home in Goldthwaite, Texas (Mills County); Ora Belle is 92. She is not able to remember things these days, but the nursing home said they would pass my phone number to a niece who comes to see her. In a couple of days, Ruby [Tidwell] Johnson called! Yes!—she is the same Ruby Johnson who wrote the article for the historical society! She is not dead after all, and she is a Montgomery! Ruby’s grandmother, Ruby Dortha Hill, married Ida’s brother, Emery Lloyd Montgomery (both deceased). Ruby and her husband Dennis live in Cleburne, Texas. Ruby was very friendly and interested in my search, but knew nothing about my birth.
Here is the information about my birth family that Ruby compiled for the Historical Society:
Joseph Caldonia (Callie) DENNING and John Thomas MONTGOMERY had 12 children. John Thomas died in 1921, only a few months after their youngest child was born. Their homestead and family reunions were in Mills County, Texas in and around Goldthwaite, TX.
1. George Thomas Montgomery married Lena Belle Wheat
2. Jesse Clyde Montgomery married Ora Estelle Wicker
3. Ofton Denning Montgomery married ?
4. Ida Elizabeth Montgomery (never married)
5. John Bascom Montgomery married Jewel Elder
6. Emery Lloyd Montgomery married Ruby Dortha Hill
7. Susan Caldonia Montgomery married William Lesley Stephens
8. Maude Montgomery married Townsend Chester
9. John "Jack" Thomas Montgomery married Bernice Perry
10.Vida Montgomery married Bernard Perry
11. Ora Belle Montgomery married Nolan Jones
12. Hulon H. Montgomery married Billie Jean Smith
A day or two later Ruby called a second time and told me she had found another family member who knew the circumstances of my birth. However, the other family member said that the event brought back some memories and emotions that she felt she could not share over the phone. She asked that I write to her instead, which of course I was delighted to do...
The first revelations about my birth...
A third blessing is to be successful in finding your birthmother, or at least in finding someone who can tell you something about your birth... Sometimes revealing this information takes great courage, as you will see...
About two weeks after I wrote my letter, I had a phone call from Allene [Stevens] Melcher. Allene is the daughter of Susie Montgomery and William Leslie Stevens (both deceased). Susie and Ida are sisters! Allene and her husband, Frank, have lived in Brownfield, Texas for many years. (They have also lived in Post and Slaton, Texas. Allene knew a Mrs. Butler from Slaton that when we were children, gave my adopted sister {Barbara Jane Coleman of Carlsbad New Mexico} and I music lessons at our home in Lubbock!) Allene has a sister Billie, who she is very close to, living in California. A brother Doug also lives in California, and a second sister, Dixie is deceased. Allene is currently living with a reoccurrence of cancer...
Allene told me that in the late 20’s her aunt Ida’s health was very bad because of asthma. So, Ida came to live with her sister Susie on the dry South Plains of Texas. One weekend, Susie and her children were out of town but Ida stayed at home... That weekend I was conceived— William Lesley Stevens, Allene’s father, is also my father....
Ida went to Abilene to live and I was born there, as recorded on my birth certificate. Allene said that, of course, this terrible act on the part of her dad was very hard on her mother and their family. But, Susie had three very young daughters to care for and felt she could not leave her husband. Allene said that eventually Susie and her children forgave him, and Allene told me that she loved her dad very much. (Their fourth child, Doug, was born ten years after my birth.) Both of Allene’s parents are deceased. Amazingly, they lived in the Dallas area for many years and both are buried at Restland Cemetery, very near where I have lived for 40 years! Also, Allene’s parents were members of the Church of Christ, as were my adoptive family.
Allene told me that my mother was a “baby nurse” and that she worked all over West Texas for hospitals, doctors, lawyers and various families. (A Doctor Williams in Post was one name she remembered.) Although she never married, Allene said that Ida did have a steady boy friend, named “Jimmy,” for almost 40 years, and that she knew that they lived together for a while. (When shots for asthma were first being given, “Jimmy” brought Ida to Dallas to get the shots. Allene said that as Ida got older she gradually overcame her asthma.) Allene didn’t know why they never married, or if it had anything to do with my conception and birth...
A fourth blessing is to have a family to share your birth story with—a mix of sadness and joy and a most unique and personal experience. Both of my adoptive parents are deceased, but I’m certain they are happy for me. I can certainly count on my wife Avalyn, my adopted sister Barbara, my wider adoptive family, and many close friends for this! And of course, I hope Ida would be pleased that I’ve found her family. It also gives me special pleasure to share this story with those who helped and supported me as I searched—thank you from the bottom of my heart! I’m certain God decided the time, the path and the people to help me find Ida—all of the “Blessings of An Adopted Child” come from Him!
Ray Mack Thompson
12/3/2002 – V11
P.S. 12/4/2002: I received a surprise phone call from California from Doug Stevens, who said, “Hi, I guess you are my half brother!”